The Blinds Leading The Blinds

I suspect that people who close Venetian blinds up instead of down are the same demented individuals who install new rolls of toilet paper under rather than over.

I came to this realization rather recently. I don’t believe it’s a left-handed vs. right-handed thing, or a left-brain vs. right-brain situation. My assumption is that people who close blinds up and install toilet paper under are the same people that pour milk in their bowl and then add cereal. That is to say, they were most likely raised by wolves who didn’t know how to impart a basic sense of how to act in civilized society to their offspring.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my habits lately – what they are, how they came to be, why I continue to do things the way that I do. Just for the heck of it, I’ve even consciously changed a few of my minor habits just to see what would happen, to see if the changes would stick.

For example, I’ve always put both socks on, followed by both shoes. You know, like a normal human being. This past week, I tried putting on one sock, then one shoe, then the other sock, then the other shoe. It felt terrible, and although the result was the same – I was wearing shoes and socks to work just like I always do – it bothered me all day long. When I got home, I took one shoe off, then one sock, then the other shoe, then the other sock – hoping to reverse the effect. It didn’t work. It didn’t stop bothering me until I put on my running shoes (the socially acceptable way) so I could go to the gym.

Why do we do the things we do, and why in the way that we do them? I’m no psychoanalyst, but I suspect we pick up a lot of habits by watching others do the same thing. Do you shoot the paper off of your straw at the person seated across from you? Of course you do. And who taught that to you? Chances are, when you were younger you saw someone else do it – an older sibling, or those cool kids at the other table – and thought, “Gosh, that looks annoying – I’m going to do that all of the time now!” That’s how MY kids learned it, at least.

My point is, please act like a normal human being – close your blinds down, install your toilet paper over the roll, and for God’s sake, please please please stop chewing with your mouth open. That may have been acceptable behavior when your wolf-parents were raising you, but it is definitely no beuno now.

What I’ve Learned

People are all different – in all seriousness, live and let live. You do you, I’ll do me, and we’ll all be happier for it.

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